Finding My Postpartum Village
I didn’t understand how true the saying “It takes a village” really is and how badly I needed that village in postpartum. While as a birth educator I know preparing for labor and birth is very important, I didn’t spend nearly as much time preparing for what comes after. Sure, I got the breast pump, nursing pads, mesh underwear, perineal spray, etc. All of those items were helpful. But what I needed, what I really needed, I couldn’t buy on Amazon.
Support. A community of other new moms going through the same challenges, joys, feelings I was going through. This is what I was missing. Although I had my close friends and family, I still felt a bit isolated because no one else was experiencing postpartum with me. In a way I was alone and at the time I didn’t realize that I didn’t have to feel like that. I was stubborn to opening up and asking for more help.
Postpartum Requires Support
At around four months postpartum, I received an invitation to the Fourth Trimester Support Group at The Nesting Place from part owner and colleague Laura Siddons. She asked if I’d like to sample the group to see what it’s all about not just for future postpartum clients, but also for myself as a new mom. The group was around 45 from me and I was suffering a lot of anxiety while driving. I let my anxiety get in the way of going for a while, but eventually I did make it to a group meeting and what I found was an amazing group of friendly, supportive moms, a generous host, and a knowledgeable guest expert. In that meeting alone, I learned baby massage techniques that helped greatly soothe my baby before bed and made life much easier for me.
Since I visited the group, I’ve been able to cultivate my own supportive village out of friends, colleagues, and new moms. I know who I can message at any time during the day when I have a question about my growing baby (now toddler), parenting tips, or when I just need to vent.
I’m so glad I found support. I am a stubborn person who has trouble asking for help, but my experience helped bring down those walls, allow me to get what I need, and learn how to give others that postpartum support freely with compassion and love.
Find Your Support
I’m so excited to now be facilitating a Fourth Trimester Support Group starting September 16. Reserve your spot and start your journey of finding your motherhood village.
It’s no secret the TV and movie industry likes to take liberties when it comes to accurately portraying events. But, its representation of birth is perhaps the most dramatic and is negatively affecting our perception of labor and delivery. The differences between a Hollywood and real life birth may surprise you. Below is my list of the worst birth myths that Hollywood perpetuates.
Laboring on Your Back
This is perhaps the most egregious birth myth out there. Known as the supine position in the birth world, lying on your back is the least effective position in which to labor. It is horribly uncomfortable, putting unnecessary pressure on your back during contractions, and doesn’t help move the birth process along. The only reason this portrayal has become commonplace is the popularity of the epidural, which requires people in labor to stay in bed because it causes numbness in the waist down (if it works correctly). Best evidence research proves that birth outcomes improve by laboring while walking and in standing and squatting positions. You are also more likely to tear when delivering baby on your back.
I’m not discouraging or encouraging an epidural. Lots of people get them, including myself after hours of excruciating back labor. All I’m saying is lying on your back before possibly receiving an epidural or while laboring naturally should not be commonplace as shown in the media we consume.
*If you’re thinking of getting an epidural, but don’t want to deliver on your back, ask your care provider about the possibility of giving birth on all fours in the hospital bed. Often the epidural will be turned down so you can feel the need to push after reaching 10cm. If your care provider says it’s hospital policy that you can only deliver on your back when receiving an epidural, talk to your childbirth educator and/or doula about it. They can provide you with research and evidence to speak about with your doctor.
**If you’re ever not happy with your care provider, you can switch to someone else!
Screaming Bloody Murder
Contractions are intense, don’t get me wrong, but you’re not going to hear screams coming from every room in the maternity ward. Most people try to breathe through them and give out a low, guttural moan, which is actually a very positive and helpful action during labor. Deep tone moans help to release tension, keeping the jaw loose and the perineum.
Surprise, surprise that the things women have been doing naturally during birth throughout history have an important purpose! Our bodies are amazing. We need to trust our instincts rather than what our media tries to sell us about childbirth.
My Water Just Broke!
Hollywood loves this one – the pregnant woman who has been experiencing little to no contractions all of a sudden has a gush of water spray from between her legs. Cut to a look of shock on the characters’ faces as the woman yells, “My water just broke!” Then they rush to the hospital. Life seldom imitates this art.
While, yes, some women do experience a gush of water when their amniotic sac breaks, it’s more common for women to feel a trickle of water down their legs. This all depends on where the amniotic sac breaks. If the protective barrier separates in the back or sides, then it takes longer for the fluid to get out, hence the trickle. Your bag of waters may not break at all until you start the pushing stage.
There’s also no reason to rush to the hospital if your water breaks beforehand, unless it smells funky and has a green tint. This could mean baby has passed meconium in the amniotic sac and your care provider will most likely want you to come in. Call your midwife or doctor if this happens.
*Remember, if you’re labor is low risk and you’re having a vaginal delivery there’s rarely a good medical reason for your care provider to break your bag of waters. It increases the risk of infection and there’s no harm in letting it break naturally on its own.
Hope you enjoyed reading about these birth myths! Learn more about childbirth with my Informed & Mindful Birthing online class.